Gosh, how poetic!

CRO owes Red Nose Day £25

... plus 'prize' money ...


Note: Some poems don't fit the rules but we like them anyway. So we've marked them 'out-of-category entries' and we're still paying a pound!

Clerihew:

Rosalind Cressy
Got her pantaloons horribly messy
During a riparian safari
In a sari

Rosalind Cressy

Serious Scientific Verse:

A coral polyp
Does not lollop

Rosalind Cressy
(NB: an out-of-category entry)


I am so furious and born in Spain
We go to a fight again and again
I am attracted by red
The word Ole is always said
There is a ring through my big nose
My master washes me with a thin hose
Let's get back to my ring, it's very painful
Can you guess what I am? I am a ......

Rufus Gray
NB: an out-of-category entry

If you've enjoyed the poems in our Collection ...
... why not make a donation to Red Nose Day by clicking here?  [read more]
 

The CRO Red Nose Day Poetry Collection

Thank you to all contributors for their poems and their generous donations


We have raised £129 for Red Nose Day!


Macropus rufus

one of the unsoaped breezy mobs
his aloof proscenium neck
a cropped red goatee tussocked
under a warrior furrowed brow

the burnished alluvium barrel
dusted riparian hessian
and pantaloons of a pale clay-tipped buff
buffeting the lamellae underbelly

a sphinx kneed Wellington
casually leaning on our shield
waiting for a sugared middy at the 6 o'clock swill

eyes of three-hundred degree licorice vision
buzzing electric clipper
ready for a muscular pirouette
muscular stagecraft

singing a parlour song
of insouciant confederacy.

Jess Cottis
NB: Macropus rufus is the red kangaroo.

Chance to Shine

Hold yourself aloof, my friend
This is no time to titter
This must be my lucky day
My pantaloons have gone astray
(That monkey’s stolen them away
I should be feeling bitter).
Instead, rejoice with me, hooray!
I’ll choose new trews in greens and blues
Covered with sequins and glitter.

Jean Riley

The lads all laugh, the maidens titter
In their finery a-glitter
To lollop by retreats riparian
And to see the denizens aquarian:
Eating monkey nuts and candies
Aloof from elder jack-a-dandies.
This must be my lucky day
To see such merriment and play
Upon this day of flowers and posies
When all the people don Red Noses
And caper round in such particulars
As make themselves look quite ridiculous.

Terry Riley

The Box

I will put in the box
the sounds of Sydney summers:
cicadas clacking in the sycamores
ice blocks drowning in the gin

I will put in the box
evening light on mountain gum leaves
a spray of water from a Palm Beach roller
the salt from my fingers once the fish and chips have gone

I will put in the box
the gutsy laughter of friends sharing
the first smile of my children
the silent witness of compassionate women

I will put in the box
an image I haven’t sensed yet
a thought I’ll have tomorrow
a love that’s coming

My box is a circle of hand-hewn wood
with flaws and grains
and secret stars
and courage as its hinge

And in the moment, I flow through my box
on canoes of fear
over melting memories
into shafts of promised light the colour of belonging.

Dee Read
NB: an out-of-category entry.

I met a lollop in the park
I thought he looked so very smart
With pantaloons of joyous beige
Safari pants “they're all the rage”
He tittered as he swung up high
Just like a monkey in the sky.

"Oh things have gone horribly wrong" says he
Aloof on a branch at the side of the tree
This riparian scene, it’s all of a dream,
But the water was wet when he fell in the stream.

David Risley
Electrician at Westminster School

Today is my lucky day

Although I could be crying cos my leaving date has come
I can't quite stop the smile tho my heart should weigh a ton
You see, there's been some wondrous news from national CP
They're confident about our work with Essex and Herts CC
With Stevenage there's real success in all of our 12 schools
In Essex - maths advisors! Serious dissemination tools!
Oh how good it feels to have good vibes through at last
And to go on to year 2 with a line under the past.
So lets have a huge CRO cake with a great big silver knife
And with slice in hand, stand up and toast "Creativity for Life"

Stephanie Hogger
Steph is our outgoing lead officer on the CfL project - off to a new job at the Sage. Good luck Steph!
Incidentally, CP means Creative Partnerships.

7.45

And time for riparian yomps.
The Sun is awake,
But aloof to all canine romps.

So far it's set fair;
Safaris could well be quite poss.
Instead, shall we stare
At lolloping dogs that criss-cross?

Michael Rose
... who takes our dog for a walk by the river every morning at 7.45!

Bridget Jones: Heart of Darkness

In this exclusive pre-launch extract from the hotly-awaited third diary volume, we join our heroine and her moody consort as they get close to nature in the torrid swamplands of the Congo basin...

A riparian monkey(1) safari
Somewhere horribly hot near Matari.
Mark lollops, aloof,
And titters reproof
At my huge pantaloons and pink sari.

(1) “Allen’s swamp monkey, Allenopithecus nigroviridis, is confined to the swamp and riparian forests of the Central African region.” – guidebook.

Martin Gough (with apologies to Helen Fielding)

Today must be my lucky day, or Little Red Riding Hood's lament

Today they will look for me.
Must have been missed by now.
Be a good girl, take this cake to your grandmother they said.
My, what big teeth you have I said.
Lucky he swallowed me whole.
Day is nearly over and I'm still here.

Cathy Gough

The Medium's Consultation

The Medium looked puzzled, then slowly she said
'I think it's your mum, she's come from the dead
She knows she's 'passed over' and feeling quite bitter
But your antics 'down there' are making her titter
She knows she chose wrong when she first met your dad
Most of her choices were bastard or cad
The land over there is riparian and green
An exotic safari, so relaxed and serene
She remembers down here and stays all aloof
From troubles and woes of which you're the proof
You lollop about in shoes horribly high
Just to try to attract the wrong sort of guy
She's been there and done that, she knows it is true
That your latest ensemble a circus would rue
You look like a monkey in striped pantaloons
Your demeanour and gait would shame wild baboons.
Don't bother, she says, to ask what will abide
Your intelligence comes from your grandfather's side
She's off now, escaping your foolish caprice
This session is over - thirty quid, if you please?!'

Neil Parker and his friend Nikke

Inspired? (Not)

To get this poem started now
I’ll need to sweep out brain-dust.
I feel a bit down-hearted, low
In spirits, so today must
be my lucky day, a day to go
In search of inspiration, just
As poets do when needs must.
Oh dear, my writing skill is rust-
y, dull and rather slow.
It’s time to pen a coda, trust-
ing words will somehow flow.
This endpiece does seem rather brusque.
(I wish my big red nose would GLOW!)

Tony Halstead

King Biro and the Palace Defence

Parody of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight

When the battle of the brave biros was fought
Pencil Case Palace was in perilous danger.
Angry, aggressive sharpeners were attacking
The palace full of fanciable fountain pens,
The loveliest one being Lady Logbook,
King Biro's beautiful queen-to-be.
A tale of a lovelier lady would be a lie
The battle was brutal and bloody
But the King's pointy pencil allies of Paraguay
Helped to parry the poisonous pencil sharpeners.

Eddie Gray
(NB: an out-of-category entry)

Limerick:

Catherine Rose, who is far from aloof
Is monkey-ing around on the roof
Titter ye not,
Tis her Red Nose Day plot
To give proof she's a goof on the hoof

Rosalind Cressy

Lyric

What a fortunate wight is young Elliot
For his work is as happy as play
He sits with a laugh in his belly, it
Makes him rejoice and hooray.
How jolly the song he composes:
The refrain’s a melodious “Today”
(the day his job started at Rose’s)
“It must be my lucky day”.

Rosalind Cressy

There is a fine wit name of Cathers
Who is good at both writing and Math ers
Her surname is Rose
You’ll have seen her red nose
On her website and after 5 clarets

She started this poetry brief
So we’d think more of Comic Relief
It has merely succeeded
To make me impeded
And brought me unfathomable grief.

I am useless at clever and witty
Quite ridiculous at funny and pithy
But I think that she’s earnt
Our praise and has learnt
That she’ll never invite me to send in a poem right at the last minute – all the way from Australia – for god’s sake – at nearly midnight – unless I can be much more gritty.

Dee Read